Staying in the game

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Feb 09 2015

Before i start, i am not a mental/psychological golf coach. Although it is a factor for sure.

A fairly common scenario came up on the golf course the other day. I was out with x4 juniors and they were playing some holes. One of the juniors wasn’t playing too good and as a result they wanted to pick up and not finish the hole. There were a few tears too, not from me, the junior. We’ve all felt like that at some point, hey :O)

Now here’s my take on how I see the above scenario. It is just that too, my belief. You might think it’s a load of rubbish or you might not, either way.It relates to everything, homework, chores, sports, minecraft you name it.

So here’s the curve ball, the juniors mood has NOTHING to do with them playing golf badly. Nothing, zero, zilch, they are not related in any way. The same goes for any other part of their/our lives too. Rather, the junior acted this way was because they FELT ‘low’, they had a head full of thoughts and his mind was revved up. As we all experience.

Look at it this way. The same junior has played golf badly before (worse in fact that the above scenario) and they reacted in a completely different way, in that they didn’t react at all to their bad golf shots. If their/our moods were governed by what’s playing out outside of us we’d always react to playing golf badly in the same way. But we don’t. Sometimes it’s end of the world, sometimes it’s nothing.

At home, sometimes my son Joshua has a tantrum. He’s crying, shouting arching his back and in a right state. At times i feel and demonstrate compassion, understanding, empathy and love towards him, and I let him thrash about and cry, giving him a hug (when it’s safe) knowing he’ll re-set in his own time. Whilst at other times i cannot be bothered with it and I want to walk away. Same scenario different version of ME.

So what the juniors and I shared that day was this…… WHEN we feel ‘THAT’ way, STAY IN THE GAME, it has nothing to do with what ever it is that is outside of us at that moment, sure looks like it, but that’s the illusion. We always re-set BY DESIGN, if we stay out of our own way and let our psychological immune system work it’s magic. Just like our children do when they have a tantrum.

Gavin Clark


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